So Little Time
I'll never forget the many moments we had together. I'll never forget the many laughs we shared. The many smiles we exposed. The love we shared. You were there. But we just had so little time. ... I remember like if it was this morning...the burning sun, the sweat running down through my body and under the hot V-neck T-Shirt I wore that day, as I jogged my way through the little path on Venice Beach on a Sunday, across the many tourists, street artists, painters and costume wearing people around the area. The sound of the water striking the sand and the seagulls making their sound along with the chatter from many people laying on the sand with their umbrella really gave the feeling that I really was stepping on one of the world's most popular, yet polluted, beaches. The occasional glance to the left I gave as I jogged on always gave an amazing sight of the open sea and the colourful umbrellas. Eventually, I got tired and my jogging went to walking as I only looked to the left, appreciating the beauty that the sea was. Then, I met you. Well, bumped into you. My body collided with yours, sending you down on your rear to the ground. I looked at you, both of my hands on my head, grasping my hair, "Oh my god! Miss, I'm so sorry, are you alright?" "I'm...I'm fine." You said as you stood back up, smiling it off. I'll never forget your bright white smile and your natural blonde short hair with a part of it covering a bit of your cute face and your blue eyes. As you stood up, I noticed how different we were in size. I looked like a giant next to you. I used to find that adorable. "Are you sure? Are you sure you haven't hurt anything?" There was no way to not worry. You were thin and looked...fragile. I was really afraid I could've broken some of your bones just by the impact. "Nah, I'm fine...if I had broken something, I'd be laying on the ground whimpering like a dog and rolling on it." You giggled, "But...yeah, I'm fine. Say, what's your name?" "Me?" Your question caught me a bit off-guard, but I do not regret answering it, "I'm Richard. Most of my friends call me by...you can guess it." "Heh...I'm Michelle." You extended a hand, I proudly shook it, "Nice to meet you. You sound like a nice guy." "Thanks...most girls would just have insulted me and walked away. You seem pretty nice as well." I nervously chuckled under my breath. I wasn't much of a people person. "So...before we bumped into each other, where were you heading?" You let go of my hand, rubbing behind your head, looking at me with those eyes with a smile on your face that no one else's could match. "Oh, nowhere. I was just jogging across the beach. I do this every Sunday. Well, almost every Sunday." I smirked, "I am pretty tired though. I was just walking a bit, which is a good thing, as I believe that if I was still jogging, I could've hurt you." "Oh, don't worry about it. I may look thin and all, but I'm not as fragile as you think." You smirked, "...Well, I should stop interrupt your daily jogging and stuff." "No, no, that's okay!" I spurt out, almost as if automatically, "I'm really tired right now...I'm sure I've gone far enough. How about we go get a drink?" I don't know why I suddenly suggested that. It's like if my brain was making my decisions because it knew that you would be a great person in my life. My brain was right. "Heh, you know, I am pretty thirsty. While I was heading this way, a couple of moments ago, I saw a guy going around with a crate with some soda in them. How about we go after him?" "Sure! As long as I don't have to jog anymore. Ack, my legs are killing me." "He's probably not far. Come on, I have enough money for two drinks and maybe even something extra!" You said and then tapped on my arm, your soft hand hitting gently against it before you turned around and headed the opposite way. I followed you, smiling, content that I've made a potential new best friend. We would become more than that soon. ... We shared our drinks as we continued to head across the long beach, sharing our stories, ideas, likes and dislikes. You, however, seemed to be a bit more closed than me. I noticed how sometimes you sounded a bit nervous and stuttered on your own words, sometimes sounding like you were about to say something but then saying something else. I noticed, but I did not mind it. Eventually, we just even forgot about the world around us as we kept walking until we eventually reached a parking lot. You were the first to notice, "...Huh." "What? What's wrong?" "Well. We walked and talked so far that we reached the parking lot. I parked my car here. I guess I just accidentally made you follow me all the way over here with my talking as I just sorta walked back to my car for no reason. I didn't even notice!" You laughed. "Heh. I don't have a car. I live not very far from here. I just walk my way to the beach on Sundays to get a little extra exercise." "Ah, clever! Well...I can give you a ride home if you'd like. After all, I probably just made you more tired from making you follow me." "That's alright, I can go on my own there!" I smiled as I threw the soda can on a nearby trash can. "Are you sure?" You tilted your head a bit. I don't know why, but the look on your face melted my heart a bit, like a puppy giving you those eyes when it wants food. "I mean...er...eh, why not?" I shrugged, "Where's your car?" "It's that white sedan over there!" You pointed to it as you sticked another hand on your pants's back pocket to grab your keys. I followed you to the car as I told you my address. You drove me home in silence as I looked out the window. However, at one moment, I looked back at you. You were doing the same thing, but the smile on your face had faded. It looked like your happy, cheery mood was suddenly sucked out of you. I thought about asking you if something was wrong, but before I could, we arrived home. Your smile showed back on your face, "Here we are!" "Thanks a lot!" I stepped out of the car, slowly closing the door to avoid any damage, "Hey, come visit me sometime. I'm on a break from work and I'm mostly home during the week!" "Oh, will do! See ya!" You waved goodbye to me as I waved back and your white car drove away as I crossed my arms, looking at it go off in the distance and make a corner with a smile on my face before heading in. For one month, you visited me, gave me your phone number and we became more and more closer. We shared quite a lot of interests, we liked sports like soccer and rugby, we liked the same TV series, the same movie sagas and I was surprised at how much you knew about games. I never considered myself a big game fan, hell, I only had an Xbox 360 and a few games, but you claimed you had consoles from each different generation and collected all kinds of games, from the SNES to the PS4. And then, came the day. You showed up at my doorstep. I received you with a smile but you received me with teary eyes and sobs as you quickly ran into me, embracing me and sobbing onto my chest as I hugged you back. I asked you what was wrong but there was little response apart from more sobs. I took you to my couch and you laid down on it while I went to close the door. I returned with a box of napkins for you to wipe your tears with, "...What's wrong?" After you had blocked the tears, you answered, "...I just...I-I just found out...I-I h-have cancer..." That moment, I froze. My eyes went wide and my jaw dropped as I blinked, "No..." I felt like a bomb exploded inside my chest and wiped out all of my insides, the pain getting stronger and stronger. "I...I have...2 years..." You broke down into tears again on the napkin. I looked down, breathing heavily, closing my eyes and shaking my head as I looked back up at you. I sat next to you and immediatelly pulled you into a tight embrace, pressing your head against my chest as you sobbed, buring my face into your hair. At that moment, it struck to me. I was ready to do anything to make you enjoy the last moments of your life on Earth. I'm not sure if I did a good job. My biggest fear is that I hadn't. Still...I did my best. The following day, you returned. The smile that you usually has on your face was non-existent anymore. We greeted each other with little emotion before you sat back down on my couch, arms crossed, looking down. I sat next to you, biting my lip, "...Michelle..." I started. I was nervous, I was shaking at that moment. It was a time where everything could go wrong to the point of no fixing or right... "Michelle...I love you..." I paused before closing my eyes and continuing, "I...I really...do...and I...wish to be your lover for your remaining time here...I hope you feel the same..." "...I..." Every word you let out came out shaky, and I felt like for each word coming out of your mouth was a sweat drop running down my forehead, "...I...I mean...Oh god...I need you to know first...I'm..." You swallowed dry and breathed in, "...I'm not exactly female..." "What do you mean...?" "I'm transexual, okay?!" You shouted out loud, hurting my ears, but for an understandable reason, "...I...I fucking had so much friendships get ruined by this I decided to just hide it...I...I'm so fucking sorry, okay?!" You were lucky. Very lucky. Because I was okay with that sort of thing. I was an acceptable person, not a narrow minded one. The fact you just managed to hide it all so well...just made me like you more. "I'm completely okay with that." I said, a smile showing up on my face. "No, you're not..." "Michelle...if I was anyone else right now...I would probably just kick you out and never talk to you again...or just...I don't know...but...I understand and accept your choice of being trans. And I still want relationship to happen. Just for you." "...I don't want you to have a relationship just for me...I want you to be happy with me..." "I will...in one, we can do much more stuff that friends don't often do...and believe me...I want this one to be the best one you ever had..." "..." You sighed and then looked at me. I smiled as my face got closer and closer to yours, your eyes looking directly into mine. Before I noticed, our lips connected and our eyes closed. You put your soft on my hand cheek. What I wished for, happened. And I could not love it more. For the next two years...the love between us...god...it was something so unique. In our most intimate moments, it wasn't just the fact you were transexual that made it different...it was just...you...I really loved you and I never had loved this much in my entire life. I...I just never wanted to let go of you. I wanted to be the next to you twenty-four hours a day. That wasn't possible, unfortunately. But...I'm glad we could be together for most of the time. I remember when you had chemotherapy. Your blonde hair...it was all gone. But...what difference did that make? None. I still loved you nonetheless. If you were beautiful or not, it wouldn't change my opinion on you. It what was truly inside your heart and thoughts, that truly mattered. ...And now comes the hard part. I remember the last time I saw you. On that hospital bed. You had little strength...you couldn't even speak. But...in your eyes, I could see that you were thankful I've done for you. And for being there. I leaned towards you and gave you a kiss on the lips, before it went to a bit more of a passionate kiss. I felt your hand on my cheek again and I smiled as I pulled away, slowly, we both looking at each other with happyness in our eyes. I said I would be back soon. That was truly something I regret saying. I went outside and quickly ran to a flower shop to get you some flowers. When I came back...I wasn't allowed in. I was frustrated and downright furious about it...I told the doctor to go in there and at least give you the flowers. Then, the doctor told me...you passed away while I was gone. I was destroyed. I dropped the flowers and...walked away. I broke down into tears at home, crying on the ground and punching it in anger...I could not eat, I could not drink, I couldn't even sleep... For the next few days...it was nothing but pain...I had thoughts about overdosing on medication, but...I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Everytime I grabbed the bottle, a flash of your face appeared on my mind, and I immediatelly put it down. ...It's been a year since you've succumbed to this horrible disease. I stand here, next to your grave. I left you some flowers. And...I left you an empty can of soda too...the same one we drank back when we met. I'll never forget the many moments we had together. I'll never forget the many laughs we shared. The many smiles we exposed. The love we shared. You were there. But we just had so little time. Category:Creativity Clash Category:Synth